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Oh No! I’m Having a Major Crisis!
Have you ever had a big dilemma? I mean a big dilemma—a major-crisis type of dilemma that seems completely impossible and unsolvable? A concern so big that you are sure it just might sink you? I have. I have had moments of extreme uncertainty, moments when the unknowns far outweigh any reasonable outcome. In fact, wouldn’t it be funny to know that is the very reason I’m even composing an article on dilemmas? Now, don’t lose faith in me while I admit that because I see this moment with beauty, actually. I see hope in this dilemma even as I’m freaking out about the impossibly of favorable resolution. Why? I don’t…
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Shame, Silence, & Shunning
It’s difficult to describe the emotions a person experiences when going through a traumatic loss of identity. I chose the LDS Church because I found its teachings to be true. Since my baptism I’ve been active, thriving, busy with callings and feeling like my efforts were furthering a good cause. I never expected to have the rug pulled out from under me so callously. I’ve always been a sensitive and caring person. As a mother I’ve worked hard to instill gospel ideals in my children, teaching them how to be respectful and love the people around them. Church reinforced these principles, and as someone who was raised in a less-than-ideal…
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Help Wanted!
Hello! I am seeking help with the MTM. If you interested or know someone that might be, please email me: [email protected]: I am looking for an editor to review article submissions. Are you good at reviewing articles? Do you have time to review 1-2 articles a week and work with contributors? Do you have an eye for detail? Do you understand the MTM vision and purpose? (Loving, non-violent approach. Seeking appeal and understanding for church trauma to be considered as a real and viable concern in the LDS Church. Working to heal and empower trauma sufferers. Offering training and helpful tips for leaders and members.) I am in need of an analyzer. I have two…
- Danna Hartline's articles, Dissonance, Effects of Trauma on the Family, Healing, Mormon Culture, Self-Care, Unrighteous Dominion
What Is Mormon Trauma?
One of my personal favorite powerhouses of our day is an LDS woman, Liz Wiseman. She spoke at a BYU Devotional a few years ago on “The Power of Not Knowing.” While I loved her message, those words struck me anew when I sat down to write this article. The power of not knowing… Although Wiseman was talking about having the courage to move forward through uncertainty and new terrain, the idea of not knowing—of being ignorant or even “dumb”—can indeed sometimes be very deceptively empowering. When we truly don’t know—but think we do—we can teach certain principles and subjects with conviction because we may not have any knowledge of…
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I Was Shunned and Abused
By Sexually Abused I joined the church at age 21. After joining, I was sexually abused by a priesthood holder as well as stalked by the priesthood holder in my ward. The most difficult thing that traumatized me the most was that the women in the ward shunned me afterward. They wouldn’t help during this process. When I told the bishop, that was worse because there was only one man allowed there. No women were allowed in the room. Also, they would only allow me to see a male therapist at the time with LDS Family Services. Eventually, the shunning became too much for me. My dad rescued me and brought me to another ward where I was able to…
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My Temple Marriage Was a Nightmare
By Divorce-shamed Male My story or church trauma began when I finally, after years of emotional self-repression, allowed myself to realize the temple marriage I’d wanted so badly to believe was Godly and right was actually a living nightmare. So much of the gospel revolves around marriage and family. My spouse was not willing to attend the temple with me, although she was active. It was also a loveless marriage, without passion or even friendship. I always felt a bit on the “outside” when church meetings focused on marriage, which was often. It made me feel like I was failing. For years I had tried to figure out the source…
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LGBTQ Shaming
By Naomi When I was LDS, I came out that I was gay to my bishop. That ruined a big part of my life. I had to meet with him every week. He gave me certain pages of the Book of Mormon and Bible to read. I had to meet with the missionaries once a week. He wanted to send me to a camp that my parents could not afford. I was suicidal starting at age 13 and have had depression since I was 11. I have been in two different mental hospitals: one six times, and one two times. I wanted to leave the church when I was 14…
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In Need of Speaking Opportunities
By Howard Bristol My story begins over forty years ago. I stuttered very badly and was receiving help from a speech therapist from LDS Family Services. He was also a bishop. His advice to me was to talk as much as possible in and with groups. I was somewhat encouraged with my progress at the time. Around the age of thirty I was ordained as a Seventy and set apart as a group leader. In that position, I was able to conduct meetings and speak in and with groups as encouraged by my therapist. I remember this incident very vividly. I met with the group secretary to discuss matters pertaining to the…
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I Had Deep Concerns
By Doctrinally Traumatized As a young person, I loved my ward and the Church! I felt loved and included. As I got older, I started to question things that I heard and read about. Slowly, I started to notice teachings of the Church that did not make sense. For instance, when the Blacks were allowed the Priesthood, I wondered why they hadn’t been allowed all along (since this was the true Church and had a Prophet who spoke to God). Other things started to creep into my thinking. Over several years, it became more and more apparent that the Church is not telling the truth. Can you imagine how greatly…
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Caught in my G’s
By An Unintentional Trauma Inflictor We had a home teacher who wouldn’t call first. He just would drop by, despite being asked not to. One hot Sunday I came home, stripped down to my Gs and sat on the sofa to nurse my hungry and very crabby baby. A few minutes after getting settled, our doorbell rang. It was our HT, dropping by as usual. Because of the layout of our furniture, where I was sitting, he couldn’t see me; but if I got up to leave the room, he would be able to see me through the side of the bay window. As I considered whether I could haul my post…
