- Abuser Loyalty, Danna Hartline's articles, Depression, Dissociation, Dissonance, Effects of Trauma on the Family, lds culture, Leadership, Mental Illness, Mormon Culture, Post Traumatic Church Syndrome, Shame, Suicide, Trauma vs. Offense, Unrighteous Dominion
The Church-Trauma Tree
Let me introduce myself. Maybe you know me. I’m Danna Hartline. I am the founder and creator of the Mormon Trauma Mama—this website right here—which focuses on church trauma and healing. If you are a follower, I hope you’ve found it helpful. I have an incredibly talented team that works with me—maybe you’ve noticed! My team and I also run a Facebook group called LDS Church Trauma and Healing. As a team, we are also organizing an invitation-only summit this fall called When Church Hurts. We are bringing together some of the top minds in this movement to collaborate and support each other’s efforts as we work on raising awareness about…
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Boundless Love
Recently a family member went to the temple for an important life event and I was unable to attend due to some personal struggles. Of course, I’d heard of people experiencing this “being left out” associated with Mormon temple ceremonies such as endowment and marriage, but I never thought I’d be the one sitting in the waiting room. It hurt even more when I was blamed for it. “This was one of the most important days of my life, and you weren’t even there with me.” “I would have been, dear, if you’d been a little more patient.” I regret the events that combined with my personal imperfections and decisions…
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The Power of Personal Leadership
Codependency You might be surprised to know how common codependency is in businesses and organizations. Employees forget their passions, talents, and personal meaning to please bosses, earn higher salaries, and survive the economic landscape. It’s understandable that we need to make a living but our growth needs never die; they create feelings of boredom, stress, and listlessness if ignored for long periods of time. We learn compliance and conformity. Some exercise initiative to find the sweet spot of shared values. We become codependent when we take on shame or the assumption that we are somehow defective, and that something is wrong with us. We lose our innocence, take defectiveness as…
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Freedom to Worship
In many of the LDS Church classes I’ve attended, the size of Church membership has been compared to the population of the planet. This comparison is often used in conjunction with the term “salt of the earth” to convey the idea that members need to be as pure as possible in order to accomplish the great work of spreading the gospel. Terms such as “Babylon”, “the world”, and “Gentiles” are used to describe those who are not LDS. In Mormon temples, work is done for the dead. This too is seen as part of the saving work of the Church. The impression one gets as a young LDS person is…
- Acceptance, Anger, Danna Hartline's articles, Depression, Dissonance, Empathy, Examples of Courage, Healing, Love, Self-Care
Growing Up Is Hard Work
Let us not deny it: Growing up is hard work. I’m learning that. For years I thought growing up just came with age but I’m learning that it’s something I get to choose to do—or not do. And today was a test in growth. It hit rather subtly. I thought I was doing so well and I have been. I have been really paying attention to my self-talk and not being reactive but today I felt I lost all grounding. For a moment, the stresses seemed to be too much. I “broke,” something I haven’t done for some time. (A tendency I have is to feel everyone else is allowed to…
- Danna Hartline's articles, Empathy, Fellowship, Healing, Lost Sheep, Modesty, Mormon Culture, Priesthood, Racism, Sex, Unrighteous Dominion
If I Were a Bishop
Recently I was contacted by a former stake and mission president, David Ostler. This wonderful man is dedicated to helping leaders learn how to help members through faith crisis. He has an impressive website dedicated to just this cause called Stake and Ward Resources. It is definitely worth checking out. Dave emailed me because he knew of my work and interest in helping trauma victims. He wanted to ask some urgent questions he had in regards to leadership. He asked, “If you were a Bishop what would you do differently in your ward? What would you do differently in sacrament meeting, Sunday school and 3rd hour? What would you do with the…
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Casting Stones
All growing up, I dreamed of serving an LDS mission. I don’t know why I wanted it so much. Perhaps because it was expected of me. Maybe it was the idea of going on an adventure in a foreign country, learning a foreign language or getting away from Mom and Dad for a couple years that was most appealing. I had a testimony and wanted to share it, but when the time came there was a tough choice to make between a prophet’s commandment and a pretty girl. I chose the girl. This choice branded me in LDS culture. I was different. Being asked privately where I served a mission…
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The Dangerous & Harmful Effects of Obsessive Modesty Practices Among LDS Youth
I want to reveal a poisonous issue within the culture of our church, one that causes shame and judgment to come down upon those who encounter life struggles and the ensuing guilt felt when we as individuals don’t measure up to the standards. We have adopted, as a church, very strict modesty standards for girls…not guys. I’m all about modesty, but in our culture we have left Crazy Town on this issue and headed straight for Absolutely Ridiculous-ville. In fact, I’m going to flat out say that this standard is more than just unrealistic. It has actually become harmful, even dangerous in many ways, including teaching our children to judge…
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The Dying of Beliefs Post Trauma
In her book On Death and Dying, Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross taught that there are certain steps one goes through in the dying process: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. In the first stage of denial, people refuse to accept their new reality. They say, “The lab must have gotten my tests mixed up with someone else’s.” Or “This happens to other people, not me.” But their denial doesn’t work very long. So they move into the next stage: anger. They are angry at the doctors, angry at their family, angry at God. When the anger doesn’t help, they begin to bargain. They think they can bargain with God to buy…
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Sex, Lies and LDS Youth
Some LDS parents miss the mark when it comes to talking about sexual topics because in their great desire to experience the ideal of a child waiting until marriage for sexual activity, they may fail to recognize the influences of a sex-crazed culture on young people. Parental hypersensitivity to sexual sin may prevent teens from talking to them about important issues that could affect their emotional, spiritual and physical development. Sexuality is a taboo topic in many homes. This is not unique to LDS families, but religious teachings about moral purity add another dimension to an already difficult cultural challenge. Just as religion and politics can lead to incendiary online…
