By Shamed Rape Victim I grew up in an active LDS family, was active myself and served a mission. When I returned, I got constant questions of “Are you dating?” and feeling the LDS pressure to now get married. In my desperation, I started dating a guy who ultimately raped me and continued to sexually and emotionally abuse me for 2 months. In my “desperation” I continued to date him thinking I could change him and he would be the one and I could finally say that “Yes, I am dating an LDS man.” Now, at that time in my life, I don’t attribute my low self esteem, depression and…

This is part one of a series.  The story gets more and more tragic as details are disclosed.

By Jairo Osiris Barrera I was a Mormon for 15 years, so was my mom. We went to an English-speaking ward, but little did I know that they were just being nice to us because a friend of my grandfather was protecting both of us from the living hell we went thru later on. When she passed away, we were left all alone. We were discriminated against and victimized in the most horrible ways possible. We were bullied to the point that both of us had to get out of the church. We both received threats for us “to leave or else” from the Bishop and the Elders Quorum President,…

It’s difficult to describe the emotions a person experiences when going through a traumatic loss of identity. I chose the LDS Church because I found its teachings to be true. Since my baptism I’ve been active, thriving, busy with callings and feeling like my efforts were furthering a good cause. I never expected to have the rug pulled out from under me so callously. I’ve always been a sensitive and caring person. As a mother I’ve worked hard to instill gospel ideals in my children, teaching them how to be respectful and love the people around them. Church reinforced these principles, and as someone who was raised in a less-than-ideal…

By Sexually Abused I joined the church at age 21.  After joining, I was sexually abused by a priesthood holder as well as stalked by the priesthood holder in my ward. The most difficult thing that traumatized me the most was that the women in the ward shunned me afterward.   They wouldn’t help during this process.  When I told the bishop, that was  worse because there was only one man allowed there.  No women were allowed in the room.  Also, they would only allow me to see a male therapist at the time with LDS Family Services.  Eventually, the shunning became too much for me.  My dad rescued me and brought me to another ward where I was able to…

By Divorce-shamed Male My story or church trauma began when I finally, after years of emotional self-repression, allowed myself to realize the temple marriage I’d wanted so badly to believe was Godly and right was actually a living nightmare. So much of the gospel revolves around marriage and family. My spouse was not willing to attend the temple with me, although she was active. It was also a loveless marriage, without passion or even friendship. I always felt a bit on the “outside” when church meetings focused on marriage, which was often. It made me feel like I was failing. For years I had tried to figure out the source…

By Naomi When I was LDS, I came out that I was gay to my bishop.  That ruined a big part of my life.  I had to meet with him every week.  He gave me certain pages of the Book of Mormon and Bible to read.  I had to meet with the missionaries once a week.  He wanted to send me to a camp that my parents could not afford.  I was suicidal starting at age 13 and have had depression since I was 11.  I have been in two different mental hospitals:  one six times, and one two times.  I wanted to leave the church when I was 14…

By Howard Bristol My story begins over forty years ago.  I stuttered very badly and was receiving help from a speech therapist from LDS Family Services.  He was also a bishop.  His advice to me was to talk as much as possible in and with groups.  I was somewhat encouraged with my progress at the time. Around the age of thirty I was ordained as a Seventy and set apart as a group leader.  In that position, I was able to conduct meetings and speak in and with groups as encouraged by my therapist.  I remember this incident very vividly.  I met with the group secretary to discuss matters pertaining to the…

By Doctrinally Traumatized As a young person, I loved my ward and the Church!  I felt loved and included.  As I got older, I started to question things that I heard and read about.  Slowly, I started to notice teachings of the Church that did not make sense.  For instance, when the Blacks were allowed the Priesthood, I wondered why they hadn’t been allowed all along (since this was the true Church and had a Prophet who spoke to God).  Other things started to creep into my thinking.  Over several years, it became more and more apparent that the Church is not telling the truth.  Can you imagine how greatly…

By An Unintentional Trauma Inflictor We had a home teacher who wouldn’t call first. He just would drop by, despite being asked not to. One hot Sunday I came home, stripped down to my Gs and sat on the sofa to nurse my hungry and very crabby baby. A few minutes after getting settled, our doorbell rang. It was our HT, dropping by as usual. Because of the layout of our furniture, where I was sitting, he couldn’t see me; but if I got up to leave the room, he would be able to see me through the side of the bay window. As I considered whether I could haul my post…